Halo 3: A Jaded Fan’s Perspective

So I’ve read a few of the reviews out there for Halo 3 and they all pretty much say the same stuff:
“Gorgeous!”
“Epic!”
“The best multiplayer available on any console!”…And so it goes.
So I won’t bore you with more of the same. I’ve always been at my best when I’m bitching about something anyway, so that’s what I’m going to spend most of my time doing. Not that I disagree with any of the aforementioned reviews, I just think that the annoying things in this game are really annoying, and deserve to be discussed more than they have thus far.

We’ll start first with the campaign:
This really is an intense experience if played on heroic or legendary, and shame on you if you played it on any of the other settings. The only acceptable reason someone would have for playing this game on a lesser difficulty setting would be having recently lost a limb or the better part of their cerebellum.

Most of the nine levels are amazing. Extremely varied, wildly imaginative and with less design related confusion than it’s predecessors. The story is so-so…Bungie definitely jumped ship on the Arbiter’s story and stuck strictly with Master Chief, which is understandable from a marketability stand point, but disappointing to the hard-core fans of the series who enjoyed the depth of story that the Arbiter brought to the table.

So…let’s go back to Halo 2 for a split second so I can prove a point. After you finished that game whom did you think you’d be dueling it out with at the conclusion of the trilogy?

The Arbiter? Not likely…

One of those turkey-necked prophets? I certainly hoped Bungie wouldn’t resort to that…

How about Guilty Spark? He was pretty evil and certainly went all HAL on us at the end of the game, but not really a big enough of a threat to…what? Are you serious? He’s the last obstacle we face at the end of the greatest videogame trilogy of all time!?
Did it ever occur to Bungie that we wanted to fight Gravemind? Gravemind, who was such a towering and unnervingly mysterious character in the second installment, was basically turned into a non-factor. If it weren’t for a few one-sided telekinetic dialogues he has with Master Chief and the Arbiter, I would’ve completely forgotten that he existed. In most games that end logically, the protagonist will be pitted against the leader of the species/organization/group that he has been fighting for the entirety of the game…I guess Bungie never got that memo.

And what’s with the second to last level? This level is simply titled, “Cortana” since this is the level in which you finally rescue your glowing blue damsel in distress. After getting to the halfway point of this level you’ll want to re-title it, “Oh my god, what have you done to my beautiful trilogy, you Bungie bastards.” Everyone hates this level…everyone. So you know that Bungie released this game fully aware of the wretchedness of this level. It’s ugly; it’s annoying (the flood attacks you from all sides constantly during this level) and the board looks the same the entire way through. Plenty of backtracking, plenty of dying…this level single-handedly guaranteed that I will never play the campaign in it’s entirety ever again. Just awful…

And on to the conclusion of our beloved trilogy…SPOILER ALERT!!! You have been warned.

Master Chief died…okay, I can accept that. He’s only human beneath that iconic mask after all…this is why everyone relates so well to Master Chief, so for him to die seems like a beautiful way to end the story…but not like this. You’re not even made aware that he died until you see “117” carved onto the soldier’s monument. C’mon! The Xbox is the console that Master Chief built, he deserves better! I want to see him gunned down in a blaze of glory or stoically watching as the inferno of an exploding Halo is reflected in his gold visor and eventually incinerates him in a blinding flash of white. I feel like we were cheated out of one of the single greatest characters of our time…his death was treated as an afterthought, and it infuriates me as a fan of the series.
Aside from the death of Master Chief, we get to see that the Arbiter is the new leader of the Covenant. This is cool, but without any more inclusion of the Arbiter into the story line this moment doesn’t carry as much importance as it should have.

I know I’ve trashed the campaign thoroughly in this review, but it really was a lot of fun. The gameplay is fast and frenetic, the graphics are top-notch (though I’ve seen better on the console in Gears of War) and the replayability of the levels (barring level 8, of course) is through the roof. And the first time you leap from an exploding scarab you’ll swear you just saw the face of a virtual god.

And the multiplayer is just as good, if not better…

First of all, the ranking system kicks ass…I take a hell of a lot more pride in being a Level 8 and a Sergeant, than simply a level 8. It seems like a really minute thing, but it adds a ton to the overall enjoyment of the experience.
But I’m not here to praise, I’m here to nit-pick, which I clearly stated earlier.
There’s less to nit-pick about with the multiplayer than there is with the campaign, but I’ll happily bring to light a few of the frustrations I’ve had with it.

Is anyone else as sick of Shotty Snipers as I am? Why do we have to play this god awful game every other round? This is a completely opinionated statement on my part, but I’m really getting tired of it. If you’re going to have these types of specialty games then please integrate others into the mix…Team Fiesta, Team Rockets, Team Swords…there are other possibilities you know.

Another facet of the multiplayer that literally makes no sense is the inability for your opponent to hear you. This is a major disappointment. I don’t understand this decision by Bungie at all. This is kind of like someone removing the horn from your car. You can probably make a few select gestures to other people that get your point across, but ultimately there’s just nothing as satisfying as laying on that noisemaker.

There’s really nothing else negative that I can say about the multiplayer package that Bungie has put together for us. It’s awesome, and I look forward to becoming a three star general in the hopefully not too distant future.

If you wanted to read about all of the good things this game has to offer then just read all of the other reviews and I’ll get back to you after that…go on, I’ll give you a few minutes.

All done? Oh right, it’s my turn now. Well, I’m busy playing Slayer…so yeah…what he said.

~Joey~